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How's your father? – Part 1


About Philosophically

I think, therefore I am.


In this compelling self-exploratory series, the author turns his focus from mother to father.

CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD

I am defintely my father's son.

I am defintely my father's son. Picture: iStock

Nobody minds a bit of ‘how’s your father’, but this is not what I want to talk about today. I am also not going to discuss ‘who‘s your father’. I know who my father is. It is entirely apparent on so many levels and from so many perspectives. To begin with, the physical similarities are profound.

My father is an old man now. He is racing towards 90 years on this earth. I have heard him say that 100 and a telegram from the Queen (a woman he has no regard for) are well and truly in his sights. All power to him.

I am told that due to work commitments, he was not around as much as he might have been when I was young. I cannot recall that. I cannot remember he not being both around and very much present. He was, and remains, a committed father.

From my earliest memory, there was one thing that readily apparent in any interaction with my father. Despite being a devoted and even devout Christian for much of his life, my father was also a devoted and committed thinker. He valued objective, critical and lateral thinking very highly.

I remember from my teenage years his lectures about the dangers and irritations of pontification. He would frequently, often daily, accuse me of pontification. While I probably did not pontificate more than most people of my age, it was clear that my father was going to beat it out of me, and he did!

My earliest memories of my father involve him imploring me to show him the evidence, demonstrate my point, show him the facts, or demonstrate the merits of my statements and arguments.

He has always shown an intolerance for arguments that are born of emotion, statements that cannot be supported and any failure to consider all of the alternatives. He questioned everything he was told and accepted nothing that could not be objectively evidenced. He was scathing of people who refused to look outside of the square and worked to teach the skills that enabled me and my siblings to be objective, critical and lateral in our thinking.

By the age of 15, I was questioning the unquestionable (in his view), the existence of God and the value of religion. I did not become an agnostic or an atheist. Instead, I adopted the null hypothesis; meaning that I was not prepared to believe in anything, including God, until the evidence was put on the table. This remains my position.

My father followed a similar journey some years later, after belatedly applying his own philosophy and skills to reject the notion of God and the value of religion. This was a huge journey, which changed his whole outlook on life. I think it was painful and I am sure it left a gap in his life that took a long time to fill. In the end, however, objective, critical and lateral thinking won out. God was relegated to where he or she belongs, in the null hypothesis, given that there is no evidence at all.

Now in his sunset years, moving quite a bit slower, wounded by life’s trials and not as intellectually agile as he once was, my father still values thinking. He still hates emotion entering intellectual debates, and still wants to see the evidence and know that all options have been given due consideration.

This characteristic of his nature had a profound effect on his life. He alienated a lot of people. Even close family members struggled with this aspect of his character and it led to many an argument.

It was the source of conflict between he and I on many an occasion.

Today, I thank him for both the skills he taught me and the discipline he insisted on. There are few things I value more than objective, critical and lateral thinking. I believe nothing without evidence and despise emotion coming into a debate. The truth matters too much. I rarely pontificate and have taught my son to avoid it, too.

My son is even more committed to objective, critical and lateral thinking than either his father or grandfather, so the value is passed on.

While passion should set our destination, mankind only moves forward optimally when the journey is guided by objective, critical and lateral thinking.

They say we live 98% of our lives in our mind. I think I spend 99% in there and I like it, largely due to the value I have learned to place in thinking. The greatest compliment I have ever been paid, and paid more than once, is that I am a very deep thinker.

Thankyou, Father.

  • Read more Philosophically Yours: How I met my mother: Part 4
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