YspeopleExplore tab

Ysbuys

Ysepicure

17 clever one-liners to lighten the mood


About Justin

Sharing my thoughts and opinions with you


If you're ever chasing a good one-liner, just tell them one of these.

giggle at the cleverness of these one liners.

giggle at the cleverness of these one liners

  • I was going to tell a time-travelling joke, but you guys didn't like it.
  • My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.
  • Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words in a sentence with the names of musical instruments often goes undetected.
  • I think it’s pretty cool how the Chinese made a language entirely out of tattoos.
  • If America changed from pounds to kilograms overnight, would it create mass confusion?
  • Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.
  • Shout out to the people wondering what the opposite of in is.
  • If your parachute doesn't deploy, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
  • Who decided to call it "marijuana possession" and not "joint custody''?
  • I just made up a new word: plagiarism.
  • RIP boiling water, you will be mist.
  • The only time the word "incorrectly" isn’t spelled incorrectly is when it’s spelled incorrectly.
  • My doctor told me to drink two glasses of red wine after a hot bath, but I can't even finish drinking the hot bath.
  • I wonder if the guy who coined the term one-hit wonder came up with any other phrases.
  • Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs Fire.
  • I just burned 2000 calories. That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
  • I once tried to date a tennis player, but love meant nothing to her.
  • Banner 1
    | Your rating
    No ratings yet


    Related stories

    If you come up with any pearls, make sure you send them in! (Image: Shutterstock).

    More profound wisdom from the shower

    In the third of this series, we take a look at some of the profound shower wisdsom sweeping the internet.

    Community Humour Philosophy
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    I'm dying of laughter!.

    These fabulous puns have groan on me

    Everybody loves a good pun, don't they?

    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    Off the chain.

    Strap yourself in, hang on for the ride

    Strap yourself in, hang on for the ride, dirt’s gonna fly, ground’s gonna shake tonight.

    Auto Technology Hobbies
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    It has GT looks but a cruiser feel.

    Don't tell anyone this Lexus is not a performance car

    Despite confirmation of its sports luxury aspirations from its refined chassis, the Lexus IS 300 is foremost a cruise and...

    Auto Technology Hobbies
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    These quotes will have you rolling in positivity.

    Because life itself is a quotation

    Feed your mind, soul and funny bone with this thought-provoking collection of quotes.

    Humour Philosophy
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    No slouch for a naked sports bike.

    Once upon a time...

    In a land far away, Italian bike brand Aprilia created the Shiver, a 750cc motorcycle with a 90-degree twin engine.

    Auto Technology Hobbies
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    Time to let your mind run free.

    Mindblowing wisdom from the shower

    People are having so many ''lightbulb moments'' in the shower, that we've written a second post about them.

    Community Humour Philosopophy
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    Cute in the automotive kind of way… the 2018 Peugeot 3008 GT.

    Forget everything you know about this Pug

    We're not talking about the cute doggy variety of Pug here, we're talking about the 3008 from French car maker Peugeot.

    Auto Technology Hobbies
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    These subtle actions could make someone incredibly frustrated!.

    Nine ways to subtly mess with people

    Hilarious and subtle ways to mess with people's heads.

    Relationships Humour
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)
    Rugged good looks.

    Rugged looks make for 'interesting' Discovery

    In the past, the Land Rover Discovery has been referred to as the Swiss Army knife of the automotive world.

    Auto Domestic Travel Technology Hobbies
    Expand
    About 6 years ago
    (Pastimes)

    Message board

    Rachel, almost 3 years ago:
    I am Sav
    Rachel, almost 3 years ago:
    Hello
    Derek, over 5 years ago:
    I am great
    George, over 5 years ago:
    What's up Thomas?
    George, over 5 years ago:
    Messages are now updated in real time on other browsers.
    Thomas, over 5 years ago:
    Hello
    Thomas, almost 6 years ago:
    Great!
    DJC, almost 6 years ago:
    Groovy!
    George, almost 6 years ago:
    Message board active from June 2018

    Have your say!

    Your Great Australians

    Trending stories
    They may be hideous, but geez, some toby jugs are valuable.

    Is your toby jug worth a fortune?

    Did you know that some of...

    (Nostalgia) Over 5 years ago
    These subtle actions could make someone incredibly frustrated!.

    Nine ways to subtly mess with people

    Hilarious and subtle ways...

    (Pastimes) About 6 years ago
    Can you solve this puzzle? .

    Can you guess who I am?

    I'm an influential figure...

    (Nostalgia) About 6 years ago
    Disruption and Innovation.

    The big lesson from disruptive innovation.

    Disruption and disruptive...

    (Money & Business) About 6 years ago
    JD Salinger has a lot to teach us.

    What can we learn from JD Salinger?

    Quality should always be...

    (Entertainment & Culture) Almost 7 years ago
    Weekly Poll
    Photographic memories
    Hizgg0vzzqvwc9xicknk
    It's 35 years since the Ash Wednesday bushfires in South Australia and Victoria claimed 75 lives and more than 2500 buildings.